A patient wants to know when to speak up

Matthew writes:

My only experience with the medical profession is strictly as a patient. I'm wondering what is an appropriate balance between being an educated patient (willing to ask questions, make observations, etc.) versus being one of those supposedly "self-educated" know-it-all patients that I'm sure are one of the banes of a doctor's existence.

We've all heard the stories of the patient whose doctor didn't listen to their concerns until it was too late, but on the other hand, I don't deny that my doctor knows worlds more about my body than I do, or ever will.

I want to trust my doctor, but without having to blindly accept whatever he tells me. Yet I've dealt with members of the medical community who see anything BUT blind acceptance as a personal affront.

As such, is there ever a time to research symptoms online before making an appointment? Is there ever a time to disagree with a diagnosis? Is there ever a time to request or ask about alternate treatments? And if so, how can this be done in a way that is respectful to my physician?

You ask some excellent questions.

I’m not sure I have all the answers. I hope some of my physician colleagues will comment. 

There is a fine and very fuzzy line between asking good questions and being a pain in the ass. And that line is drawn in different places by different doctors. It ranges from zero tolerance for questions (See Dr. Sung on “Monday Mornings,” who, when asked a question about a procedure he recommended, said, “Not do—dead.”) to the most open-minded, usually a primary care doc or psychiatrist. There are issues of time, urgency, the physician’s perception of the patient’s level of understanding, the complexity of the disease or operation and many more.

I had no problem with patients who researched their symptoms online. However, I would hate it when a patient brought a portfolio with 100 pages of downloaded material for me to comment on. There is a lot of garbage on the Internet.

I think you should always ask what your options are. Informed consent discussions should include the risks, benefits and alternatives for any procedure. The doctor should also tell you what the risks and benefits of the alternatives are too.

Go with your gut. If what the doctor says to do does not sound right, say you will think it over. Don’t be afraid to get a second opinion. Run away quickly from any doctor who discourages second opinions. I always encouraged second opinions for patients who were reluctant to have surgery I recommended. I felt that if I was proposing the right thing, the second opinion doctor would support me.

One of the worst things a patient can do is be too acquiescent to the physician. I used to tell patients “Don’t worry about hurting your doctor’s feelings. This is your life we are talking about. The doctor will get over it. If she doesn’t, you don’t want her as a doctor anyway.”